The Blame Game_A Brook Brothers Novel Page 15

A slug of guilt hit Indie hard, and she caught her breath. Every time something like that happened, it reminded her this was all a lie. She could kid herself that she had a chance at an idyllic life with Jax, but then an offhand, innocent comment would bring her reality crashing down. It didn’t matter how much she wished things were different. They weren’t.

  Alana rolled her eyes and tucked her arm into Indie’s. “Men,” she said with a chuckle. “Okay, let’s get you a drink, and then I want to know everything.”

  I’m not sure you do.

  “Hang on,” Jax said. “I need to introduce Indie to Nate. They haven’t met yet.”

  Alana waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, there’s plenty of time for that. Looks like Draven’s got him cornered.” She winked at Indie conspiratorially. “He’s probably asking Nate for tips on how to get laid. I mean, that big body would crush most girls. And the ink…” She pulled a face, which made Indie laugh.

  Indie flashed a look at Jax. Their eyes met, and she smiled tentatively. “Oh, I don’t mind a tattoo here and there.”

  “Well, yes, but does he have to have them everywhere? I do hope there’s the odd important body part he’s left tattoo free.” She winked again.

  “I heard that,” Draven shouted. “Any time you wanna check it out for yourself, Alana, you let me know.”

  Indie glanced sideways at Paul to gauge his reaction. Rather than being pissed, he simply chuckled. “She’d eat you for breakfast, Draven, and you know it.”

  Draven licked his lips. “And she can eat me for lunch and dinner too if she likes.”

  “Tsk,” Alana said. “Really. You’re like a bunch of children.” And without another word, she grabbed Indie by the hand and went over to the kitchen. “What do you want to drink, sweets?”

  “White wine, please.”

  “I’ll get it,” Cole said. “How’s the face?”

  “Sore,” Indie said. “Any news on my attacker?”

  Cole shook his head and set two large glasses of wine down on the counter. “I don’t want to sound defeatist, but the chances of us catching him are slim.”

  Indie took a sip of her drink. “I know. Doesn’t stop me from being grateful, though.” She squeezed his hand. “Thank you. For yesterday. For everything.”

  Cole shrugged, although his cheeks did color slightly. “Just doing our jobs.” Then, with a clearing of his throat, he went to join Draven and Nate.

  Alana chuckled. “Always has been on the shy side, our Cole. Probably because Calum’s so in your face. Still…” She gave Indie a playful nudge. “You know what they say about the quiet ones.” She touched her glass to Indie’s and took a sip. “So, I believe my husband is indirectly to thank for getting you and Jax together. You know he’ll insist you name your firstborn Paul in honor of his playing Cupid and all.”

  Indie shifted in her chair as her conscience pricked at her once again. There would be no firstborn for her and Jax. No happy ending. No future. Phil would see to that.

  “Sorry, that was a bit premature of me. For all I know, you might not even want kids.”

  “I do want kids,” Indie said. “Someday.”

  “Then you’re lucky, because Jax will make an amazing father. I mean, you only have to look at how he coped after his parents died. Sometimes I think his brothers don’t appreciate the sacrifice he made for them.”

  “I’m sure they do.”

  Alana snorted. “Cole, yes. Even Calum on a good day. Nate, on the other hand—completely different story. In fact, when Paul told me he’d come home for Thanksgiving, you could have knocked me over with a feather.”

  Indie leaned closer and lowered her voice. “He seems… intense.”

  Alana threw back her head and laughed. “Honey, that’s an understatement. Jax adores him. I mean he loves all his brothers, but he and Nate had such a special bond. Maybe it was due to Nate’s young age when their parents were killed. But now…” She shrugged. “It’s like he’s a different person. From sweet kid to sullen adult.”

  “How long have you known them all?”

  “A long time,” she said. “I went to high school with Jax. It was me who introduced him to Paul. Sometimes I think Paul would rather be married to Jax than to me.” She grinned.

  “How did you meet Paul?”

  “Through my brother. He went to college in England. He’s always been a bit obsessed with English history. When I went over there to visit him, I met Paul, and that was it. I didn’t want to move to England, so he came here instead. That was ten years ago.”

  “Finally,” Jax said from the opposite side of the room.

  Indie twisted her head. Calum had arrived with his friend. Did Jax say his name was Zane? She couldn’t remember.

  “Yes! Now we can eat,” Alana said. “I’m ravenous.”

  The next fifteen minutes or so consisted of everyone pitching in. Before long, the table was laden with an enormous turkey, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, green beans, and the most delicious-smelling gravy.

  Indie had Jax on her right and Cole on her left. She couldn’t help feeling relieved that Nate was seated at the opposite end of the table. Jax had briefly introduced them between carrying the turkey and the gravy from kitchen to table. His youngest brother was so very different from the rest of his family. He was quiet and aloof, as though using the difference in his looks as an excuse to keep himself apart. While Calum and Zane—who Indie had immediately taken to—were the jokers of the pack, Nate’s brooding expression gave her the shivers.

  As though he sensed her looking at him, Nate stopped tapping on his cell and lifted his chin. His ice-blue eyes met hers. He stared for a couple of seconds, yawned, then turned his attention back to his phone.

  As the evening progressed, Indie really started to enjoy herself. The banter was in full flow, and everyone made her feel so welcome. This was what she’d missed out on growing up. This family wasn’t perfect—far from it—but what they did have in abundance was love. Her mind turned to Thanksgiving dinners when she’d been a child. Dad would usually be drunk. Phil would spend the night trying to placate him so they didn’t find themselves on the wrong side of his fists. There was no turkey. No cranberry sauce. No potatoes or pumpkin pie. If they were extremely fortunate, there might be some leftover meatloaf that Mrs. Donovan—the old lady across the street—brought over because she could see they were starving. As the memories poured into her mind, Indie’s eyes filled with tears.

  “Are you okay?” Jax said. He must have noticed she’d gone very quiet.

  Indie blinked away her tears and gave his knee a squeeze. “More than okay.”

  “You disappeared there for a while. What were you thinking about?”

  She shrugged. “Nothing important.”

  Jax’s eyes searched her face, seeking answers she wasn’t able to give. She held her breath, waiting for him to question her further. Instead, he said, “Room for pumpkin pie?”

  She laughed. “You know how to sweet talk a girl, Jaxon Brook.”

  He grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  After dessert, they all pitched in, clearing away plates and tidying everything up. The table disappeared, although she didn’t know where to or by whom, and the chairs and sofas were back in place. They all flopped into any seat available, stuffed and lethargic. Calum switched on the TV, although no one paid it very much attention.

  After half an hour or so, Jax whispered, “Come on. I want to show you something.”

  Indie’s lips curved into a smile. “I hate to break it to you, but I’ve already seen it. Several times.”

  He chuckled. “Okay, there’s something else I want to show you first.”

  Standing, he held out his hand. As they made their way to the stairs that would take them up to the first floor, Calum wolf whistled. Indie’s face heated while Jax flipped Calum the bird.

  They climbed all the way to the top floor. When Jax pushed open the door to the penthouse, Indie gasped. The room was bathed in candlelight, w
hich threw light and shadow across the enormous space. In the very center was the biggest bed she’d ever seen, and scattered all over it were forget-me-nots. It was so special, so Jax. He’d put thought into it rather than simply grabbing the first bunch of flowers he came across. Off to one side, she spied the neck of a bottle of champagne sticking out of an ice bucket, and on a nearby table stood two crystal glasses.

  “When did you do this?”

  “I didn’t,” Jax said. “Cole set it up while we were clearing the dinner things away. To my specific instructions, of course.”

  Tears pricked her eyes, but unlike earlier, these were happy tears. “Oh, Jax.” His name came out on a breath.

  He took her in his arms and kissed her. Taking care with her injury, he kept his kisses soft and sensual, yet still, he managed to make her head spin. His tongue slid across her bottom lip before he slowly entered her mouth.

  Too soon, he drew back, lightly caressed her forehead, and wandered over to the bottle of champagne. He poured two glasses and held one out to her. “To us,” he said, tapping his glass against hers.

  “I don’t deserve you.” She gestured around the room. “I don’t deserve any of this.”

  He took hold of her hand and lifted it to his lips. “You deserve the world and more, Indie. Before you, I wasn’t aware how much I was missing out on. Putting my entire life on hold to take care of my brothers had made me bitter and resentful, yet I didn’t even realize those were my true feelings. I thought I was being so selfless.” He snorted. “What a joke. But you’ve shown me I can have a life. With you.” He put down his glass on a nearby table and removed hers so he could do the same with it. Threading his hands through her hair, he leaned in close. “I love you. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but what does time matter when you’ve found what you’ve been searching for? You’re the missing piece, Indie. You’re the one—the only one who can make me truly happy.”

  Before she could respond, he swept her up in his arms and laid her gently on the bed. He covered her body with his and threaded their fingers together, pushing her arms beside her head. His lips brushed hers, and his eyes fell shut. With his mind on her injuries, he kept his kisses gentle, feather light, but she wanted more—craved more—than he was willing to give.

  He leaned back on his haunches and slowly undressed her, then himself, until they were both naked. The candlelight flickered as he moved, casting parts of his body in shadow. Her breath caught in her throat. He was, quite possibly, the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen.

  Her gaze fell to his tattoo. She traced her fingertip around the black swirls encircling a heart at the center.

  “I never did ask you what this symbolized.”

  “Family,” he said.

  Her heart squeezed inside her chest, but before she had much chance to think about how deeply that single word cut through her, Jax’s hands, mouth, and tongue began a journey that scattered every rational thought from her mind. All she knew was how he made her feel, how her body came alive beneath his hands. She realized this was its true purpose—to give and receive pleasure so intense, so overwhelming, that nothing else mattered.

  “Oh God, do it,” she moaned, head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut. She clutched his shoulders. “I want you inside me.”

  He did as she asked, filling, stretching, taking her to the brink with every thrust of his hips. She moved with him, her back arching as she spread her legs wider, her hands gripping his ass as she urged him to move faster and deeper. She wanted, needed the physical release that would send her body into ecstasy.

  “Tell me you love me again,” she moaned, clawing her nails down his back. “Tell me.”

  His mouth moved next to her ear, his breath like silk against her flesh. “I love you, Indie.”

  It was all she needed to send her spinning over the edge, and then she was falling, falling so hard as waves of pleasure crashed over her, never diminishing in their intensity. Lost in her own desire, she was only vaguely aware of him coming inside her. He sank against her, their bodies damp as they came together. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as tightly as she could manage.

  As he started to lift himself off of her, she tightened her grip. “Not yet,” she whispered. “Let me hold on to you for just a little while longer.”

  He didn’t understand her double meaning of course—how could he?—but when all this was over, she hoped he’d remember what she’d said and know that it had stopped being about revenge for her a long time ago.

  When he grew too heavy, she reluctantly let him roll to the side. His fingers reached for hers, knitting their two hands together. They lay there in silence, in the semidarkness, both lost in their own thoughts.

  Jax turned over and propped his head up with his hand. “Let’s take the champagne outside and get in the Jacuzzi.”

  Indie gave him an incredulous look. “It’s freezing out there.”

  “So? They do it in Sweden.”

  Indie laughed. “Maybe they’re crazy in Sweden.”

  Jax got off the bed and held out his hand. “Come on. Once you get in the water, it’ll be fine.”

  She gave him a crooked smile. “You’re a dangerous man, Jaxon Brook. I think you could persuade me to try just about anything.”

  Jax opened the doors to the balcony. An icy blast hit Indie square in the chest. She squealed and, with her arms wrapped around her body, she made a dash for the Jacuzzi. She sank beneath the water, making sure only her head was above it. She could see her breath in the cold air, and as Jax got in beside her, she burst out laughing.

  “This is crazy!”

  Jax grinned and handed over her glass of champagne. “Sometimes it’s good to do crazy things.”

  She took a sip and placed it on the side, immediately immersing her hands beneath the hot bubbles once more. “Thank you for tonight. We never really did the Thanksgiving thing when I was a kid.”

  Jax brushed damp hair off her face. “That makes me sad. But I promise you this: from now on, every Thanksgiving will be just like this one.”

  A swell built within her, the maelstrom of emotions from guilt to regret to remorse making her stomach churn with nausea. This was getting harder to manage. She found it harder and harder to keep her truth while everything within her was screaming that it would end her.

  “And here’s how I know that.”

  As his words dragged her from her dark thoughts, she saw that he was holding a small oblong box on the palm of his hand, red in color with gold edging. Her chest tightened, and she automatically rubbed the heel of her palm against her sternum. Surely it couldn’t be an engagement ring? Jax didn’t strike her as the kind of man who would move so fast—and that would make what she had to do not only a whole lot more difficult but cruel on a level she didn’t have it within her to be. Telling him she didn’t want to be with him anymore was one thing. Telling him after he’d proposed was quite another.

  She must not have been able to hide her dismay, because Jax chuckled. “It’s not what you think. Wrong-shaped box, for a start.”

  Oh yeah. She’d been so blindsided that she hadn’t thought about the odd shape. Heat rushed to her face, despite the freezing air.

  “What is it?” she said, finding her voice.

  He moved his hand closer to her. “Only one way to find out, Indie.”

  She tentatively reached out and lifted the box from his hand. With clumsy fingers, she managed to open it. Inside, surrounded by folded black satin, lay a key.

  Indie removed it from the box and held it in the air. “What’s this for?”

  “It opens the outside door to our private quarters.”

  Indie’s eyes grew wide. “You’re giving me a key to the hotel? Why?”

  Jax cradled her face with his palm. “Move in with me, Indie. I want you by my side.”

  Regret washed over her like long, slow waves on a shallow beach. Each one was icy cold, sending shivers down her spine despite the heat of the water.
As much as her heart yearned to say yes, she couldn’t. She longed to walk that path, but she was being dragged down another. She had to play this right.

  “Can I take a little time to think about it? I’m not saying never, just not right now.” She gave him an apologetic smile.

  “Take as long as you need. Keep the key, though, because within a month, I’ll be waking up beside you every day. I’ll spend that time showing you how perfect we are together. In the end, you won’t be able to resist.”

  She laughed, even though inside, he’d cracked her heart wide open. “Deal.”

  * * *

  Indie lay on her side watching Jax’s chest rise and fall. The moon bathed the penthouse in a muted light, and as Indie stared at the white globe in the sky, she knew exactly what was to be done. The next day, she would tell Phil it was all over, that she’d fallen in love with Jax for real, and that the deal was off.

  And then she was going to tell Jax everything. He deserved to know the truth. She wouldn’t begin their new lives based on a lie. She only hoped he’d be able to find it in his heart to forgive her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Indie’s stomach was in knots as she made her way to the coffee shop where she’d arranged to meet Phil. She figured talking to him on neutral ground was the right approach. Even if he totally lost his temper—which she fully expected him to do—he’d find it hard to get away with hurting her in public. Whatever happened, she had to be strong. She could not allow him to get inside her head—to confuse her or use her guilt over the way he’d protected her as a child. All that was in the past. Jax was her future. If Phil wanted to remain a part of her future too, then he had to drop this pointless vendetta. It was the only way.

  Her heart rate increased as she held the door open to allow a woman pushing a stroller with a screaming, indignant child to leave, which gave her a second or two more to get herself under control. She spotted Phil seated by the window, his back to her, two coffees on the table in front of him.

  She slid into the seat opposite. “Is this for me?” She pointed at the coffee.